This song, entirely fictional but stacked with references to real Atari products and employees, was inspired by the now legendary tales of drug use at Atari during the 1970s. Hope you enjoy it.

Lyrics:

Well I was baked,
Baked at Atari;
I lost my mind
I lost my mind.

I took Joe’s shrooms,
But I’m not sorry
‘Cause he took mine,
yes he took mine.

Now I’m seeing race cars on the floor
And Alan Alcorn thinks he is a dwarf
And all the tiny men that live in Nolan’s beard
Are telling me to work.

Well I was baked,
Baked at Atari;
I lost my mind
I lost my mind.

Took LSD,
But I’m not sorry,
‘Cause I took mine,
Yes I took mine.

Now I’m playing Pong against the rain
and Bristow thinks he’s flowing down the drain again.
And all the tiny men that live in Nolan’s beard
are climbing in my brain.

Now it’s time
to slay the demons running through my mind
On my screen,
I’m the game, and they’ve been playing me,
But I ain’t free; I’m 25 cents a piece.

Yes I was baked,
Baked at Atari;
I lost my mind
I lost my mind.

I sniffed Ron’s coke,
But I’m not sorry
‘Cause he sniffed mine,
yes he sniffed mine.

Now I’m playing Gotcha with Colleen
Decuir just drove a tank across the street
And all the little tiny men that usually make a home in Nolan’s beard
are telling me to flee!

Now it’s time
to slay the demons running through my mind
On my screen,
I’m the game, and they’ve been playing me.
Set me free — I’m 25 cents a piece.

This song is about the inevitable hype, blind excitement, and letdown that surrounds every Apple press event — especially those in the late Steve Jobs era.

I’m not sure if anyone has ever written a love song to a website before, but this sounds a lot like one. It’s almost startling in its earnestness. It’s amazing how a song, once it comes together in a recording, can take on a life of its own beyond what its creator even intended.

When Apple’s Senior Vice President of Worldwide Marketing, Phil Schiller, isn’t grinding away at his 9-5, he knows how to get down with a few friends.

Here’s a link to the song on SoundCloud.

Lyrics:

We work too hard,
Don’t ever leave,
We’re tired of being slaves to the pocket machines.
iWatch, iPhones, gobbeldy-gunk;
Even Jony’s had enough of all that junk.

So me and Craig and Eddy Cue
Are gonna bring some rock to you!

We’re Phil Schiller’s Rock and Roll Band.
Phil Schiller’s Rock and Roll Band.

From now on,
When we’re up at the Loop,
We won’t let Timmy tell us what to do.
We’ll do what we want
and design what we please,
Then watch all the customers
get on their knees.

Then we’ll get drunk and fall down flat;
There ain’t no $^&%* app for that!

We’re Phil Schiller’s Rock and Roll Band.
Phil Schiller’s Rock and Roll Band.

Twitter user extraordinaire Glenn Fleishman mentioned this phrase on Google, and I thought it sounded like a good song title, so I threw something together in about an hour and a half.

Goddamn FBI stole the name of my thrilling modern crime novel, “Dormant Cyber Pathogen.”

— Glenn Fleishman (@GlennF) March 4, 2016

A frantic song about law enforcement algorithm matching gone horribly wrong

A swing beat number where two lovers in the distant post-apocalyptic future meet and frolic at the site of an abandoned robot factory.

Romance ensures near the arsenic pits, radium shaft, and the cast-off legs. Surprisingly, no one dies in the song.